It’s 7PM, and you’ve got your super swollen feet propped up on the couch. Your back hurts, and you’re starting to feel unbalanced, like a beached whale. You think, “Am I ever going to get my bikini bod back after this?”
Your husband (he’s just so sweet!) is massaging those poor, swollen feet for you. You’re worried about how your relationship is going to change after this baby is born. There are so many stories about couples’ relationships becoming more detached, and distant, after babies are born. How can you keep your relationship healthy and loving while still dealing with a baby?
Then there’s the baby itself. What will happen if you don’t love her? How in the world are you going to take care of this mini-human? You’re terrified you’ll do something wrong and hurt her. And the birth itself - will you be able to take the pain? Exactly what WILL it feel like - and will you embarrass yourself? These are all questions that roil in the back of your mind.
Even though you realize that all this worry isn’t good for you or the baby, you become preoccupied and overwhelmed. Maybe having a baby wasn’t such a good idea after all! This is someone who you’ll be responsible for over the course of many years - and you feel barely able to take care of yourself. Isn’t this supposed to be a joyous occasion? Then why are you so stressed out, and how can you find that joy?
Trying to manage all these powerful emotions isn’t easy to do, especially with hormones raging, and not quite feeling like yourself.
Integrating the amazing person and wife you were before you got pregnant with the Mom you’re about to become can be upsetting business. How do you do that? You need a system to help you stay grounded, and not only walk the path of pregnancy and birth, but also of motherhood and nurturing your marriage.
Develop good habits now to help you reduce stress. By creating a plan for times when you’re tired, aggravated, or anxious, it’s easier to stay calm and carry on when there are things that just must be taken care of.
Define your values and belief systems. This is important not just for you to gauge your own behavior, but so you’re clear on the foundation you want to give to your child!
Stay focused and positive. Negativity breeds negativity. Is that the example you want to set for your child, and how will that affect your relationship?
Nurture yourself. If you don’t take care of your own physical and emotional needs, your family will be the ones who suffer in the long run. You have to put your own oxygen mask on before you help others!
Build back your self-confidence. After pregnancy, our self-worth can take a hit. It takes time to get back to normal physically, and you’ll be feeling some roller coaster emotions while those hormones get back to where they need to be. When you realize that you are one Bad-Ass Momma, it will be easier to deal with unexpected chaos and take care of your partner’s needs, too!
You might have been getting lots of advice from family, friends, and coworkers on how to handle the things that worry and concern you. Problem is, they’re not you. You, your husband, and that sweet little baby have a unique relationship and interaction that nobody else on the planet has. Those connections are never going to be the same as the one you have with your mother, your sister has with her kids, your cousin has with her husband, or your coworkers have with their families.
You need to put together a plan and a system for managing stress, dealing with rampaging emotions, and nurturing family bonds that centers around you and your unique experience.
The Quiet Zone Method gives you all that and more. You’ll get the tools you need to manage all the stress that comes with a new baby, learn how to feel confident about how you look and feel right now, appreciate all the wonderful moments of parenthood without feeling overwhelmed, and nurture your marriage so that your bond is stronger than ever.
The best part is that you’ll be working with a coach who has been there, done that! I have 4 amazing children - all of whom became awesome human beings despite the fact that I was battling anxiety and depression at the time. The Quiet Zone Method is how I got through those days in one piece when nothing else worked.
I’d love to help you create a plan to navigate the frightening and sometimes overwhelming process of becoming a mother. Pick up my free class, “Secret Ways to Stop Stress in Its Tracks.” Click here:
The class comes with a free 1:1 Zoom session with me. We’ll talk about what the most stressful thing about pregnancy and motherhood is for you, and what you need to do to start feeling the joy you want to be feeling!
Susan Petang is a Certified Stress Management Coach, and author of two books. Her program, The Quiet Zone Method, is how she triumphed over anxiety and depression when nothing else worked. She specializes in helping women deal with overwhelming emotions during stressful life changes. If you're getting married or divorce; having a baby or have lost a loved one; or are changing jobs or moving, The Quiet Zone Method is how you'll get through tough days in one piece and start waking up happy in the morning again.