How to Stop Being Lonely (and Start Being Happy!)

Let me ask you this: What is important to you about having a partner?

For so many women, the answer is loneliness.

We go to work, take care of the kids and the house, maybe even help out our parents. It’s like being on a merry-go-round that never ends. We desperately want an adult to talk to and have fun with. Our girlfriends are out with their own partners. So we spend Date Night at home alone with a bottle of wine, a movie, and some popcorn.

One of the Life Mantras I teach my clients is, “Something good about right now is…” It helps us change our viewpoint to one of positivity, gratitude, and mindfulness.

But why do we even need that? You’re wondering, “Is it so wrong to want a boyfriend? What’s wrong with wanting company?”

The answer is, “Nothing!” But let me ask you this: Why do you feel like you need a partner?

So many women feel (even if they don’t admit it!) that:

• They have to have a partner in order to be happy;

• If they don’t have a partner, their friends will think there’s something wrong with them;

• They’re jealous because friends have partners and they don’t (“How in the world did SHE get HIM, anyway, and how come I didn't?!”);

• They want a partner so their kids have a father figure in their lives;

• They miss having sex; or

• They want to please the rest of their family (who seem to think there’s something wrong with not having a man in your life).

When those are are the kind of motivations you have for finding a partner, the result is going to be attracting someone who is codependent, a bully, a psychic vampire, or a user.

The messages we send out to the world are exactly what we’ll attract. If we approach our dating life with a sense of desperation, loneliness, or not feeling good enough to attract the kind of guy we really deserve, the “relationship loser” is what we’ll get.

It’s when we’re comfortable in our own skin, confident, and have an attitude of, “I’d like to have a partner, but I’m OK if I don’t find one” that we end up attracting people who are better choices!

Let me ask you this: What are the wonderful things going on in your life right now, even without a partner? Focus on those. Also, what is something good about right now, this moment in time? No matter how small, by focusing our attention on what’s good, positive, wonderful, and amazing (no matter how small!), not only will we attract a better caliber of partner, but we’ll also feel happier.

So grab that popcorn and the bottle of wine this Saturday night, and tell yourself, “I’m going to have an awesome time watching this movie! I’ve wanted to see it forever…” And enjoy every second.