top of page

If They Want to Leave, Let Them Go

It feels horrible, doesn’t it?

Your husband wants to leave. He says he doesn’t love you anymore, he needs time to think, he has another girlfriend, or he feels stifled in the marriage.

How could he reject you like this? It certainly doesn’t help your self esteem, does it?

You feel worthless. You think, “Will anyone ever love me again?” or, “There must be something wrong with me! What is it?”

Maybe you even start to doubt yourself in other areas. If your husband has rejected you, what’s to stop anyone else from abandoning you? Will your family and friends walk away from you, too? What happens if your boss suddenly decides you’re too flawed for your job?

Instead of diving down this rabbit hole, nip it in the bud.

If he wants to leave, let him go.

Think about it. What would your relationship look like if he stayed, but really didn’t want to be there?

If he wants to leave, let him go.

What do you think the consequence of clinging to him desperately will be? Do you think he’s going to want to come back because you’re holding on so hard?

If he wants to leave, let him go.

What is going to be the result if you collapse because you just can’t live without him? What kind of role model are you being for your children?

If he wants to leave, let him go.

Try this on instead. Practice changing your self-talk to reprogram your subconscious.

“I’m a bad-ass because I won’t allow his actions to affect how I feel about myself.”

“I’m amazing because I’m setting a good example for my kids.”

“I’m a bad-ass because I’m continuing to live my life as normally as possible despite the hurt I’m feeling.”

“Something good about right now is that this sweater is really comfortable.”

“Something good about right now is that the sun is peeking through the clouds.”

“Something good about right now is that my child just gave me a big hug and a smile.”

Make positives out of negatives.

Stay focused on this moment, right now.

Pat yourself on the back and give yourself a big round of applause because you are the battle tested warrior queen. You can get through this!

These are only one of the tools you can use to get through tough days in one piece. Here’s a link to my free class with more tips on staying cool, calm, and collected when the emotional blender gets turned on!

Susan Petang is a Certified Stress Management Coach specializing in the stress of divorce. She's written two books about dealing with stress and is a member of the National Association of Divorce Professionals.


bottom of page